30 July 2011

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SOaB!! Owling Top-Trumps Planking!

SOaB!  There I was, happily "Planking" over the Bridge over the River Kwai, confident that I was at the peak of coolness, when all of a sudden, on the pole position starting spot of the Singaporean Grand Prix circuit, Mr I-The-Like-Snow-Because-I'm-A-P5chyo-Fox decides to whip out the undefeatable "Owling" card and Top-Trump me!  Here are how the two cards stack up:
Owling:  Coolness - 82;  Popularity - 75;  Obscureness - 91;  Photogenicness - 79.
Planking:  Coolness - 52;  Popularity - 72;  Obscureness - 82;  Photogenicness - 77.
As you can see, Owling is a super-card that pretty much can't be beat!  The only other card I had left to play was my old "Flash-Mob" card which is just a joke now...
Flash-Mob:  Coolness - 34;  Popularity - 25;  Obscureness - 15;  Photogenicness - 56.
Has anyone found a newer card that can Top-Trump "Owling"?

25 July 2011

I Hope Kitty Doesn't Bite... Ouch, Too Late!


Bravery beyond belief. And I was genuinely bitten by this tiger cub. And it hurt. And my arm started marked for a good 15 mins. It's okay though, we have both had our rabies shots plus we have a shared spirit in that we are both Liverpool supporters (check out the collar!).

24 July 2011

Planking Over The Bridge Over The Kwai


You know it would have to happen one day... I was part of the first Flash Mob in Scotland, now I may be the first person to "plank" on famous film title...

21 July 2011

Cross Drinking Shit Coffee Off My Bucket List!


After many years of being subjected to shit coffee in the UK (such as instant, or only flavour espresso making all your drinks, yes Costa I'm looking at you, Geography is a Flavour!), I find myself paying a (relatively) extortionate amount for literally shit coffee just because it's the rarest and tastiest stuff in the world... Ah, that's actually a good reason too, plus it's was apparently made famous by the film The Bucket List.

20 July 2011

24 Series 9 Should Have The "Counter Tourist Service"


The following events occurred in realtime. 6:13pm I see a sign for Counter Tourist Service. 6:14pm We burst into laughter. Beep beep, beep beep.

19 July 2011

Cumi Love Honey Sir? But I'm No Longer In Bangkok!


I think we should all have the chance to eat some Cumi Love Honey once in our lives...

Here's 25 Characters, Go Tweet Your Mum That You've Met A #CuteGuy


Lots of young Australians out tonight (plus some Dutch and at least one Korean) many of who were born in the 90s. I can't really say "here's a quarter, go call your mum and tell her you are not coming home tonight" as they have no idea what a pay phone is (was)! Instead I've decided to go with the line "here's 25 characters, go tweet your mum that you've met a #cuteguy". Let's see how I fare with that approach...


16 July 2011

A Drink That Makes Men Want To Urinate


So this drink, Hormoviton, is designed for men only (see the pointy symbol) and makes us want to urinate (hence the picture of a guy's zipper). Unless I'm missing the point of this interesting herbal drink here in Indonesia...

After First Surfing Lesson I Need A Manly Drink


Well, at least out doesn't have a curly pink straw in it... ;)

15 July 2011

Premium Quality Molotov Cocktails Made With Absolut Petrol


Expect to pay a premium price for these premium Molotov Cocktails, maybe 5 to 7 years...

Things Go South As I Cheat On My Life Partner


So, having survived Bangkok, whilst still having an absolute blast, things have started to go south... And buy things I mean an Airbus A320-200 that is currently taking us over Java and into the Southern Hemisphere! I am no longer a one hemisphere guy, I'm cheating on the North with the South, let's see what it looks like...

14 July 2011

Teddy Bear Rice Deserves An Oriental Hat!


I need to get myself a mould to make teddy bear rice as part of my Thai repertoire... He's sooo cute!

In Our Restaurant There's No Touchy Touchy...


It's important to get given space in a restaurant, so maybe it's worth advertising that your staff are never too close to customers. Unless someone has stolen (forgotten) the letter D...

13 July 2011

Chicken Porridge? I'm Lovin' It!


If snail porridge gets a Michelin Star, what does McD's Chicken Porridge get, other than a wide berth? [Point of interest: I am fully qualified to comment as I have been awarded two Michelin stars earlier this year!]

11 July 2011

Have I Ever Seen This Logo Before?

Hey Scotland, give me a shout if you know this one...! Mike...? Neil...? Donald...? About a million other people (including a few girls!)... Oh well, guess I'll just have to head over to the Central Mall where the snooker tournament is currently taking place and ask them why their logo is triggering something in my memory bank...

Donald Buys A New Car / Van

All he has to do is tell his wife, and import it back to the UK, don't know which will be harder...!

He's Such A Rebel Without A Cause / Clue


The local version of English is quite hard to understand, even when it's blatantly obvious to everyone else!


10 July 2011

Apparently It Can Rain All Of A Sudden Here

It's a good job we are not in shorts and t-shirts! Oh wait.... Long walk back to the Sky Train then!

UPDATE:  Apparently the women in this shot are from a Zombie movie, thanks for the spot Neil!

Time for SIN? Too Late, Bangkok Has Them Now!

So, Bangkok has Donald and myself (flew over from SIN). I'm sure it won't be anything like the urban myths we've all heard. Let's see what my hotel's mini bar has to offer... Mmm, strawberry flavoured - oh!

5 July 2011

EIFF Has Died, Will Returning Home To August Resurrect It?

This year's Edinburgh International Film Festival has received a fair amount of criticism, not least of all from yours truly.  Fortunately things are looking up for the EIFF, in that they are looking bad.  The one-time Artistic Director & Producer, James Mulligan, who halved the number of films, scrapped red-carpet events, ditched several stalwart threads (including Best of the Fest, which was re-introduced at the last moment), lost several major sponsors (such as Standard Life, CityJet and the key venue of Cineworld) and replaced them with low-budget versions (downsizing Nokia, easyJet and George Square Theatre), oh yeah, and messed up the opening night gala with Festival Patron / 'I was never currating the EIFF' Tilda Swinton and her film "We Need to Talk About Kevin"...  Anyway, that guy, James, has gone after only six months in the position.  Phew.

The organisers of the EIFF are now publicly thinking about restoring the awards and moving back to August, as hinted at by The Hearld last month and recapped by yours truly!  Could this save the EIFF, without going back cap-in-hand to Shane Danielson and begging him to make it a real force again?  Who knows, but I wouldn't bet against an announcement during August about the EIFF's return the following year...