23 January 2007

West Highland Terriers Are Too Stupid

I am reliably informed by a colleague, let's call him Richard B - no, let's call him R. Brook, that a dog school in Edinburgh refuses, point blank, to accept West Highland Terriers into their class as they are too stupid to learn anything! Maybe the only thing they are good for is turning into a dog skin rug...

20 January 2007

How To Work Miracles With A White Linen Jacket

As I have previously hinted at, a gorgeous white linen jacket don't mix well with a fresh raspberry cocktail. I mistaken tried to get the stain out with hot water as it was on the edge of the jacket near the buttons. Whilst the red dye has disappeared there remains a large water stain. Despite the best efforts of my dry cleaner, and considerable expense, the water stain could not be shifted. I wonder whether a dry fruit stain would have been shifted by dry cleaning methods anyway. With nothing to lose I took drastic action. I put my dry clean jacket in the washing machine on the lightest setting (for pure new wool) followed by a light spin. As it was the only thing in there I decided against washing power/liquid and instead used one scoop of the all-signing all-dancing Oxi-Clean (or whatever brand of powdered oxygen you can find). One night drying on a hanger over the bath and the jacket is spotless! Granted it will take a hell of a job with a powerful steam iron (that lets me steam vertically) to straighten it out but at least it's clean and lives to fight another day. Roll on the next night of fun!

15 January 2007

Final Proof: The Scotsman IS A Tabloid

I have previously pointed out the various tabloid-esque 'qualities' that have been pouring into The Scotsman newspaper over the past year. If additional proof were needed of how low the quality of the paper has sunk and what they think of their target audience, then here is the final damning evidence. A major article called “Voters back SNP ... but not independence” appears in today's paper, page 4, and contains the line: ” said he intended to produce a white paper - an initial consultative document - on an independence referendum within 100 days of taking power”.

9 January 2007

Bio-degradable Bottles Are A Corny Idea

Whilst shopping around Liverpool I came across a truly marvellous idea: Mineral water in the UK's first compostable bottle! The plastic is made from corn and will only degrade in certain conditions, i.e. in a well balanced compost heap. The bottle can also be recycled as normal plastic! If you want to grab yourself some of this refreshing idea, certain branches of Waitrose and Tesco sell them, as well as HABS.

6 January 2007

Alan Hansen vs High Definition = We All Lose

I've just started watching the BBC's High Definition coverage of the Liverpool – Arsenal FA Cup game. This is not libellous, merely a statement of what I see on the screen. Alan Hansen has quite bad dandruff. Today he is wearing a black striped suit which looks just fine in normal quality. However as I flicked over to the BBC's HD service, you can clearly see large chunk of dandruff on his right shoulder. Normally you would have thought on of the crew would have touched him up but this was the first FA Cup game broadcast in HD and the assumption is no-one new it would be visible. To be fair to Alan, the legendary player that he is, a lot of 'celebrities' are scared of HD broadcasts, especially live ones. It's enough to make you pity them isn't it?

1 January 2007

Happy New Year To All You Bond Lovers!

Before we get bored with the excessive use of 007, let me just wish you all a happy New Year. I had a great time on Hogmanay, enjoying a meal and entertainment in The Scotsman Hotel on North Bridge. Not cheap, but as word came at 9pm that the Street Party had been cancelled we were enjoying our wise investment even more! It was so windy outside I couldn't stand to take a picture. Back in the warmth the stairs from the Brasserie to the toilets are full of Gothic splendour. I felt a bit like a spy sneaking around capturing pictures. Oh yes, I had my white linen jacket on. I'm starting to get tired of the amount of women grabbing me up to dance when Staying Alive comes on! I've also learnt that fresh raspberries don't mix well with white linen.
Back outside there was a building problem. When you tell thousands of people to leave Princes Street but still put the fireworks on then the are going to congregate in the nearest large area, namely North Bridge where there are no tickets needed! On the other hand we had a piper play in the New Year and then the Frank Sinatra impersonator (when he was alive) came back out before the disco finished off the evening. When the evening ended at 2am we were still on hold for a taxi. In the end it arrived at 3:05am and we were sitting in front of a roaring real fire on comfortable sofas. If we had been anywhere else other than a hotel we'd have been kicked out on the street long ago. At least I've given something back to the hotel - the cocktail expert there now knows how to make a Swamp Thing!