20 September 2006

Sex Sells. As Does Humour.

I've just seen two billboard adverts this week that have really made me laugh. It seems some talented individuals have come into advertising and thought "hmm, we need to be creative to sell things". Before I get on to them I want to talk about an Edinburgh restaurant called Voujon. The very same Edinburgh restaurant stuck out in Newington that can afford to advertise across Edinburgh! They are a Bengali & Indian restaurant that has made a big splash by turning their non-city centre location into their advantage. The great advert they have running at the moment says "Our chef flies his spices in from Delhi. And you won't even travel to Newington". Clever. Back to sex and humour. The humour comes courtesy of Burger King's advert for their Whopper: "Eat like a king. Not a clown". Very funny and how the hell has no-one thought of this before in the past fifty years? After that I saw the first Pepsi Max advert. Before I go on I should explain that I much prefer Pepsi (and I have successfully done the blind taste test) and Pepsi Max is pretty good. Using secondary evidence I understand Coke Zero is nothing more that Diet Coke rebranded for men. It is apparently not Coke taste but with no sugar (as Pepsi Max is). That's that sorted then. First we have this one showing a rabbit on the left (at none) and the Playboy Bunny at Max. Not bad and I'm not sure if it really is sex selling. The next day I saw this one - a mouse at the bottom and a fox at max! Nothing short of outrageous!

UPDATED 6.9.24: I nearly crashed my car in laughter at this one! Sadly no picture yet but there was no picture on the scale, just a Pepsi Max can on the right side. One the left it just marked the bottom of the chart. In fact what it actually said was (paraphrasing): "Zero. adj. not any or none, e.g. zero taste". On the right it said "Max. adj. the most or all, e.g. max taste". Coke must be kicking themselves for picking such a easy target for a name.

16 September 2006

A Giant Mobile Makes Me Spend My Money

I like Almondvale and McArthur Glen, the two large shopping centres about to be joined together in Livingston. I think the thing that I like the most though is the huge glass dome, the water tumbler and the air-powered mobile above it. I could sit and watch it for hours. A huge self-cleaning plastic dome, similar to the Eden Project, will look pretty cool too to unify the two complexes.

10 September 2006

Glasgow Prefers Cava & Bubbles to Real Bubbly

I saw these two street performers entertaining children of all ages, myself included, with these huge bubbles. So much better than polluting the atmosphere with bad noise. A little while later I noticed this bar that specialises in "Tapas & Cava". No champagne here, not even going to pretend. We are quite happy with cava and fair play to them. You'd never see that in Edinburgh, so much so there was a bar called 'Champagne Charlies'. 'Cava Charlies' just wouldn't have worked though.

8 September 2006

Naked Women Are Banned For Tall People

I was in Luton Airport biding my time until my flight back to breathable air (Scotland). Wandering around WH Smiths I noticed that the soft core porn mags, Club and Men's World in this particular picture, are wrapped in white plastic so you can't see the back of women in underwear. That is quite responsible, especially as we don't want very tall boys looking at the back of women. Not getting any tittilation from that I dropped my gaze to a lower shelf, much more accessible for children of all heights. It's a good job that 'lad's mags' such as Loaded, FHM and Maxim don't go one further and show side-boobs or even fully-exposed breasts only covered by a little bit of hair or another girl's arm. Somebody please explain the thinking here, or lack of it. Don't make me agree with a Labour MP's private member's bill.

6 September 2006

Am I Drunk or is the Ground Slanted?

This can't be right. I'd have noticed this before. Does no one check a simple plumb line before erecting a lamppost? Maybe it's designed to reach the places other street lights can't reach, like under cars? [Incidentally there are no signs of an accident or anything to cause this to happen]

4 September 2006

London Calling And You'll Get A 1970s Room

I'm down in London at the moment and the first thing I noticed is that it took the same time to fly from Edinburgh to "London" Luton as it did to disembark the airplane and wait 45 minutes for the bag machine to start working. The (far too) Easy Jet staff casually wandered over after 40 minutes to tell us they didn't have enough staff to unload the plane. Lovely. On arriving at my hotel I notice that I'm not staying in the one across the road from me (the Savoy or something). Instead I'm in a relatively modern looking hotel. Up in the lift and now the hall ways look a little bit dated and worn but I'm still optimistic. Ah. The room. Why is it hotels look best from the lobby, drop a bit in the hallways with their dodgy wallpaper and carpet and then turn into a bland 1970s basic design in the room? Still, it's all I need and it gives me a chance to test out the panoramic function on my new camera (aka Sony Ericcson K800i phone). Pretty cool. [BTW that's not me watching The Simpsons. I've long since retired that dead horse for something that is entertaining and actually funny. It just started as I was play with my little toy]

2 September 2006

The North to The South: We Care About You!

Not really, we were being sarcastic. A month ago, in a week when the South of England suffered under the hosepipe bans and nasty summer drought I went shopping back in Merseyside. First I went around Liverpool and saw this lovely feature (I know it is a photo from last year, my picture got ruined). Later that day I went to Southport and saw this lovely sight. Maybe I'll phone my friends back in Edinburgh and ask them to draw a bath just for the hell of it. Learn your lesson people who live in the South: More sunshine equals less H2O.