Is Hanging (In A Modern Art Galley) Too Good For Me?

I guess that's the question ever self-obsessed egotist has to ask, is my art hanging in the National Gallery of Ireland too good for me? Probably not. So here is my first entry, currently hanging in the Moderns exhibit celebrating modern art. It's simply called 'Future'.

Where Is Gate 8 In Edinburgh Airport?

Short answer, it doesn't exist! For some bizarre unknown reason, Edinburgh Airport does not have a gate numbered 8. It has a 13 which is usually a superstitious number but as you can see from this picture, it goes Gate 7 then 9 (and the other side of the building is Security checkpoints. In all seriousness I emailed them asking why but no one has ever bothered to reply... Can anyone think of a good reason to omit Gate 8?

I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Badge...

I don't really like discussing the potential thorny issue of football online, it's too emotive.  Politics and religion are fine, but football is more important than them...  Anyway, Torres has calmly said he has only ever been an Atletico Madrid fan and that he's never kissed the Liverpool badge.  Fair enough, sound logic, if only the guys over the pond at Bleacher Report hadn't posted this video capture of you kissing the famous badge it would have been believable...

Image linked from Bleacher Report.com

In Sports Reporting, Britons Win And Scots Lose

I have a Scottish friend who is thrilled that Andy Murray has made it through to his third Grand Slam final as he has a real chance of winning it for the first time.  But he's not such a huge tennis fan so why all the excitement?  Rumour has it that Andy Murray is a Scot, although official he is described as "Britain's Andy Murray".  So we know which country he technically belongs to in Tennis terms, but is he actually a Scot or a Briton?  Looking at the BBC's coverage it clearly said that "The Briton, seeded fifth, won" and made it through to the final.  Case closed, the Briton won!  But then again, what about his earlier games and any reflections on how he got on in last year's final?  Just 10 days earlier it seems Andy Murray is "The Scot, who lost to Roger Federer in the 2010 final".  So if it's about his stellar performances and victories he is a Briton, but if we are talking about loses or opponents giving up injured he is a Scot.  No sub-text to be read there, is there BBC?  I guess in the battle between national identities in sport, all's fair in 'love' and war...

A Menu Photo Is Only A Serving Suggestion... WTF!

Me: is that burger the one that comes with onion rings on? Either way can I get onion rings on it please?

Bar Zero9 in Bristol International Airport manager helping his staff out as it's busy: No sir, we don't do onion rings.

Me (smiling in ironic amusement): You know your menu has a photo of onion rings on your burger?

Bar Zero9 manager: Yes sir, that's just as it normally is, a serving suggestion.

Me (internally): What the F--k! I'm supposed to buy me meal in an eat-in only bar and take it home and add onion rings? Or am I supposed to smuggle some freshly fried battered onion rings through security to add them to this misleadingly advertised burger? It's not worth educating him, just go and take your pint of Amstel back to your table and you can blog about it to make you feel better.

There Aren't Plenty More Fish (Trophies) In The Sea This Year

Alas, it had to come to pass that Scotland was no longer the best place in the UK for fish & chips.  After the Townhead Café in Biggar won the title of 2007 Fish & Chip Shop of the Year (announced January 2008), it has been a one country race.  The following year the Anstruther Fish Bar in, erm, Anstruther (Fife) carried the torch on winning 2008 Fish & Chip Shop of the Year, then we head west as Atlantic Fast Food in Coatbridge (Glasgow) is crowned (the realigned title of) 2010 Fish & Chip Shop of the Year.  Three glorious victories in a row!  Back to present day and despite the best efforts of Doms Chip Shop in Thornton (Fife), who won Best in Scotland but never made it into the top three places UK-wide, it's a Yorkshire chippy that takes the title back to England as Fish and Chips at 149 takes the 2011 trophy to Bridlington, Yorkshire.  Oh well, I still haven't made it to Coatbridge for last year's winner yet so maybe I should do that before next year's winner gets announced...

Book Sellers Think Computer People Are Degenerates!

There is a man.  He lives in the Far East.  He reads books.  He sometimes reads books about computers.  He is quite observant.  He was so shocked when he saw this sign in a well-known book store...  I know, I'm horrified too. Why would someone want to read a book about the iPod Touch?  What?  Is that not it?  Even lower... :-?  Ah, you mean metaphorically!

Thanks P5ychofox, Wiley Coyote or whatever the hell you are calling yourself now!  :-D

Food Is A Rewarding Business In Edinburgh

Within a very short radius of Edinburgh are some stunning places to eat, although a few have yet to be recognised in the new Michelin Guide (out today).  Edinburgh maintains its five one-star restaurants: Number One at the Balmoral Hotel on Princes Street; 21212 in New Town; The Kitchin, Martin Wishart and the Plumed Horse all at The Shore.  Slightly out of town Champany Inn in Linlithgow maintains its star as do the Peat Inn and Sangster's, both over the water in Fife (about an hour away).  That's six Michelin-starred restaurants within the Lothian region and still leaves Rhubard (at Prestonfield House) bereft of deserved star.

Slightly disappointingly was the loss of two Bib Gourmands, which are awarded to establishments that represent value for money regardless of price.  Tony’s Table in the city and The Wee Restaurant in North Queensferry (first stop over the Forth) both lost theirs, however Osso in Peebles gained one.  Finally the Rising Star is strangely still held by the same place, which caused a lot of confusion to other people reporting on it (until yours truly corrected them, thanks to the guidance of my culinary-guru Neil McRobie).  For the last four years Abstract on Castle Terrace was given a Rising Star award however last July it was replaced by a new venture, co-founded by Tom Kitchin, simply called Castle Terrace on the very same site.  This now has rightly received a due praise and received a Rising Star.  It all bodes well for the future, if they simply decided to recognise Rhubard...

One Of The Best Car Stickers Ever!

Who concurs? I do, if anyone cares...! :-P

How Capriciously My Mood Has Swung To One Of Solemn Tender

I hate Januarys, the month of l'arnacoeur (and not in the great film way)...  Meanwhile, this non-news just in; Phill Gillespie is found to be being overly dramatically and should abdicate his Drama Queen title for the good of everyone... 

You Get An Awful Lot For Your Pound At B&Q...

I'm guessing the might want to add a quantifier in that heading, like 'each'...

Happy Christmas From A Winter Wonderland!

What better way to celebrate Christmas than let someone else do all the hard work, both in the kitchen and behind the lens?  I present you, two great shots from the soon-to-be-winner of a Michelin star Neil McRobie!

Apologies To Iceman, Seems He's A Do-Gooder After All!

Yesterday I accused Iceman (think cartoon of The Amazing Spiderman) of being captured on CCTV trying to steal so icicles.  Well, having returned to the site today they have increased in size proving Iceman was clearly adding to the icicles rather than trying to swipe them!  Bobby Drake, I apologise!  In other news, I think the idea of winter-madness is clearly proposterous...

Life's A Beach With Snow-Where To Hide...

So before the snow returned to Edinburgh, Liverpool was hit so hard that the sea froze, the Liver Birds put on red scarves and the sand changed it's chemical structure. Either that or it snowed so hard funny scousers built an igloo on the beach of the Mersey (right next to Gormley's Another Place).  Credit for the photo goes to 'me Ma'...

And Snow It Begins... Set to hit -283°C

Weather update: it's started snowing in the centre of Edinburgh, albeit very lightly.  Is this going to be the once-in-a-generation blizzrds they are predicting?  Heresay figures suggest that it will get down to a few degress above absolute zero, however with wind chill it will feel like 10 degress below absolute zero (thanks to P5ychofox for verifying that this is theortetically possible and a doubly funny gag from Futurama).  Ah well, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Waiter, There's Glass In My Snow...

Lovely shards of 'glass' in the day-old snow today.  Beautiful refraction of the late-afternoon wintery sun.  Only downside is I wish I had a decent camera on my phone!  One of the rare occasions I miss my Satio...  Please release a good camera with good options on a good Android and I'll be first in line (unless it snows)!

A Birthday Week: An Introductory Guide

An I have been asked, by those interested parties, to explain the rules of one of my greatest inventions, the Birthday Week.  I am firmly of the opinion that a birthday should be celebrated and not just the day, but you should be treated for a period around your birthday.  The name "Birthday Week" is a slight misnomer as it doesn't necessarily last a full week, it depends on what day your birthday falls (much like the "Royal Mile" isn't actually a mile in length or a "light year" does last a full year... ;-)  FWIW if I had my way everyone would get their birthday as a day off work each year.

During your Birthday Week you are like a child again: get to choose what happens, where you go, what you eat and when it all takes places.  You are not a dictator but treated like a prince or princess for that time.  If you fancy something then why not, it's your Birthday Week.  A normal Birthday Week lasts 5 days, although it could on rare occasions be as long as 6 or as little as 4.  It starts 2-3 days before the big day and runs 1-2 days afterwards.  This can vary depending on what milestone it is and when exactly it is in the year (if it clashes with anything else).

If your birthday lands on a Monday then probably it would run from the Friday before through to the Tuesday (just one day after).  By then you should have had more than enough time celebrating and turning into your next year.  A Tuesday birthday could plausible start on the Friday and run to the Wednesday.  Wednesdays are interesting as you would start on the Monday and then run through to the following Saturday, although in this case you are celebrating more after the event.  Thursdays would probably do similar, although start on the Tuesday and Fridays most likely start back on the Wednesday and run through to Sunday.  Weekend birthdays usually start on a Thursday and end on the Monday, again depending on how important the year is.

Let's Rename This Month To Snovember!

Arthur's Seat is just still visible in this shot, incredible how  much snow has fallen in the centre of Edinburgh in one night.  Who said it couldn't snow again?  (Okay that may have been said in mid-April). 

I'll Have A Gin and ... Apple?

When you don't like cucumber but love gin, an important question to ask your tender is what do you recommend serving it with.  Hopefully the answer will come back lime rathern than cucumber but I certainly don't expect the answer 'red apple'.  Behold Carunn, a new from a small distillery in Speyside.  It tastes very floral and the soft acidity from the apple complemnts it wonderfully, where lime would drown out then flavours and fragrence, where it would just taste like watered down Bombay.  It's my second favourite Scottish gin, after Blackwoods of course...

The (Nissan) Juke Of Edinburgh Rocks The Galleries!

There are some things that blow even my mind. A car launch (well, kind of) in Edinburgh? In October? How is that possibly cool? This evening I experience an incredible light and sound show (missed the fireworks) and managed to witness the National Galleries of Scotland covered in graffiti, on fire and come alive to watching us. Behold the Nissan Juke in one of the coolest things I have seen all year (Note to SNP : this is who you should be employing for St. Andrew's Day).

Thankfully, LCI Projects, the brilliant team behind the event, have posted a single angle and edited video for you to relive my experiences.