Don't Opt-Out of Junk Text Messages from Real Numbers!

This may seem a bizarre piece of advice but (as always) bear with me (grrr).  It seems a recent trend is spammers acquiring a load of sim cards and texting out some drivel such as " FREEMSG: Our records indicate you may be entitled to 3750 pounds for an accident you had.  To claim for free reply with YES to this msg.  To opt out text STOP".  My one (despite my mobile being registered with the TPF) on arrived from +44 7515... which is a real mobile phone number. The temptation is to "opt out" so you don't receive any costly text messages.  Of course, as I didn't sign up for them, I know I'm safe and quite confident my mobile provider will be able to verify that.  The interesting thing is as it's come from a normal mobile number they are not trying to charge you anything, they are just looking for mobile numbers that are real.  So replying with STOP (or heaven forbid YES!) will mean they've found someone they can send more crap to.  Just think the very early days of email spam where clicking on the 'un-subscribe' link just verified you email address as real.  Best option, do nothing!

Mensa UK Are Stupid and Unobservant!

Bold statement, can I back it up?  Yes.  Each week Mensa publish their free puzzle and it's usually not too difficult.  The number-based one usually take a few seconds, the word-based ones a little bit longer (and vice versa for a former colleague of mine who shall remain Charlie, I mean nameless).  So let's take a look at this week's puzzle...
"You have £5.84 in change and it's made up of four different denominations of coins, the largest being 50p. You have exactly the same number of each coin.  Which coins do you have and how many of each coin?"
Now you may think that's a good puzzle, it should keep you going for a little bit.  That's true.  The answer will apparently be revealed next week (29th), also fine.  I want to know why they decided to put some stock images of British coins to brighten up the web page...?

Jon Stewart's Moment of Zen Is Sheer Heaven!

Jon Stewart is incredible.  Great host of the Oscars (mostly the second time that no-one watched), star of the latter series of The Larry Sanders Show and of course anchor for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  Last week they ended the show with their Moment of Xen which was a local news piece about the flooding in New Jersey and how these tough guys can't get across the street without a dingy.  Click on the clip but be warned, I had to pause it whilst watching because I was laughing so hard!  What a great way to start last week.

Topping this great observation, Jon ended the week by going full-speed at Glenn Beck and managed to draw some pretty unbelievable conclusions.  Now I'm sure to a lot of people the name Glenn Beck won't mean anything, to others he will always be the guy who sang Hi Ho Silver Lining or sister of the singer of First Time, First Kiss.  However anyone who has seen any non-fictional American TV will realise that Glenn has his own TV and radio show were he puts out, erm, fiction!  Well, to be technically accurate, his show is a right wing op-ed piece that spouts numerous conspiracy theories against the left / centre and how America is under seige.  Each show seems to have Glenn getting maniac and questioning whether he is the only crazy one (yes) or in fact is he the only sane one (definitely not).  He also has a penchant for getting tearful, pressing his fingers against his lips and saying "I'm sorry, I just love my country, and I fear for it".  You are well advised to watch Jon best Glenn at madness and brilliant reasoning.  Thanks Jon for being a shinning light from across the pond!

[Sadly although More4 screens The Daily Show here in the UK we can't watch the clips directly on The Daily Show's website.  Instead we have to go to Channel 4's VOD section which is only up for a week :(  Hurry hurry!]

I Love You I Love You Phillip Morris!

Nine months I've been waiting for this baby!  Okay that's the opening to a whole other post by a whole other person (and probably whole other sex too)...  But seriously, I naively believed that an independent film that stars Jim Carrey (big name but he does the odd independent such as Yes Man) and co-stars hometown hero Ewan McGregor (whose films are sometimes introduced by his mum if he has scheduling conflicts) would definitely be part of last year's EIFF.  Nope.  But it would be out soon after that though, it's going to be a big film!  How wrong I was.  Most of Europe got a release date by conservative Britain still did not have an announced distributor.  Finally, at very short notice, I Love You Phillip Morris has a release date which has now arrived and the title says it all!  I love you I Love You Phillip Morris!  In case you have no idea what this film is about, basically Jim Carrey is gay and goes to gaol (or jail as it is set in Texas) and falls in love with his one true love, Ewan McGregor.  It's funny, has a great plot, based on a real story, good acting and is very fresh.  So why has it taken so long to be released and why are the US only getting it for the start of May on a very limited release?   Could it have anything to do with Ewan and Jim making out with each other, plus a couple of gay sex scenes (one that is relatively graphic)?  Nah, that can't be the reason for Liberal America...  I'm actually a little surprised there hasn't been a mini-whinge about it here by the usual suspects.  Oh well, I don't care because I've seen it and it's fabulous and you should do the same darlings...!

What A Beautiful Sky This Evening... Summer Is Coming!

After a lovely evening we are now being treated by a soft and velvety sky with gorgeous emerald and sapphire tones.  I could stand here looking at this all night long...

Key Is Locked Out Of Chortle Nominees - Quite Rightly!

On Monday Chortle announce the winners of their 2010 awards (for 2009) and guess who doesn't make the list even once...  That's right, Perrier Award (erm, Edinburgh Comedy Award) Winner Tim Key.  At the awards highlight show he did not go down very well with the 750-strong crowd, although it was after midnight and his show is not suited to a big crowd.  That of course is irrelevant as the scandal from Edinburgh last year was the complete omission of the stunning Pajama Men and their show Last Stand To Reason.  Did they make a shortlist in the Chortle Awards?  No, they made two.  Best Sketch or Character Act (along with Idiots of Ants) and more importantly, Best Show!  

So who are my predictions for these awards?  Best Headliner will be Phil Nichol (sorry Andrew Lawrence), Best Sketch or Character Act will be Pajama Men (sorry Idiots of Ants), I'd be surprised if Tim Minchin won Best Music or Variety Act as his last show was the weakest of his three so far, Best Show has to be Pajama Men: Last Stand To Reason (although it's good Tom Wrigglesworth got a nod) and the Best DVD is another sure thing for 2008's best show (even though the If.com Eddie went to David O'Doherty) Rhod Gilbert's Award-Winning Mince Pie.  Let's see how do in a couple of days...
UPDATED:  Yes Rhod won Best DVD (no shock there) although The Pajama Men lost out to the two acts I said sorry to, Idiots of Ants (say their name quickly) as best sketch group (with Stefan in last year's show!) and Tom Wrigglesworth for Best Show.  Sarah Millican won Best Headliner which on the basis of last year's Edinburgh shows makes no sense.  However, a headliner on has about 30 minutes on stage and Phil is definitely appreciated over the full hour so she could be going down a treat.  Roll on Edinburgh Fringe 2010, only 20 weeks to go!

Oh-No! I Haven't Posted My St. Patrick's Day Cards... ):-|

A few years ago I was "bothered" when I received a "Happy Easter" card from my mother (although I appreciated the sentiment).  You send cards for birthdays, at a push Christmas and whatever Hallmark-Holiday you are rail-roaded into (e.g. Mother's Day, Valentine's Day...).
But seriously!  St. Patrick's Day cards?  This is shameless exploitation by card companies (I can't believe they have managed to shock me).  If you want to do something for someone so they have a "Happy St. Patrick's Day" then light a candle for them in church or help out a religious charity.  Please don't buy them a godless greeting card from the altar of capitalism...
[Wow, with this much lyrical venom I could be part Irish...  incidentally I am!]

Put Your Money Where My Mouth Is On Dave's Landslide!

This is your last chance!  Not Gordon Brown, I'm talking to you!  The poll trackers are putting Labour and Conservatives neck and neck, whilst all the media is whispering "hung parliament".  Utter rubbish!  Three months before the American elections last year and McCain and Obama were "neck and neck".  It always happens, the underdog creeps up well before the election as people shy away from the inevitable winner so far away from the election.  People are still in a wait-and-see, non-committal, not wanting to be seen as a die-hard Tory.

However the last straw was last night when Gordon said 'I will carry on without a majority' and 'if I lose I will remain Labour leader' (a position he was unelected to, he was anointed). Come polling day, they will duly go in and vote for "Call me" Dave Cameron and he'll start our new Government with a majority of at least 50 seats (so over 348 Conservative MPs).  You should still have good odds on this right now, so put your money where my mouth is on Dave's landslide!

Le Temps Détruit Tout? Or, Things, Can Only Get Better!

Yes the first part of this subject is a very powerful line that really moved me when I first read it*.  It translates as "Time Destroys Everything" and whilst it is not summarising the second law of thermodynamics, it is very true:  Things decay and everything ends.  However, thanks to superstar keyboardist and modest physics genius Brian Cox (no, not Hannibal Lecter, the younger one), we have the line from the D:Ream song (okay, he was an occasional keyboardist whilst at university and then went on to be a superstar physicist).  So which is true?  Well, lots of things decay over time but fortunately PhillG.com is not one of them!  A brand new theme with a great shot of Little Scotland, a nice slideshow of one of my Picasa Albums and, wait for it, all previous posts from Wordpress imported over to Blogger so the whole site is together again!  450 posts and counting over four and a half years!  Woo-hoo!  Now to end on a sad note, if you do want to depress yourself more than you were at the end of A Single Man or The Wrestler, rent Gaspar Noé's masterpiece, Irréversible and find out why Time Destroys Everything.

Marketing Angle: Irish People Like To Drink!

It may not be the most original angle, but it is the angle that Wetherspoons are going with for their bar in London Heathrow Terminal One! It is also the last bar before New York and Edinburgh and Warsaw (ignoring those 'toy' bars during the flight) but clearly the believe this fear marketing will only work on the Irish! But it did work on me... :)