The rail network in this country is doomed. I have just received a letter from Network Rail…
The title says it all really. Is this the world’s messiest office desk? My desk at home is bundled with stuff but a) at least it’s in some sort of order and b) it’s not my work desk right next to my boss! Another little game we can play here is […]
Bastards. They did it again. It seems overnight someone has broken in to our car again, but this time taken nothing. Six weeks ago someone broke in and took everything of minor value, including £2 in silver change. This time the thief seems to have only been interested in the Sat […]
Everyone in Edinburgh and indeed most of the UK acknowledges that there is a boom in the number of people coming over from Poland to live and work here. I have no problem with the influx of Polish people to Edinburgh and the UK in general, however the language of this country is English. […]
Over the years Woolworths has had some great household items on sale. I don’t care about the kids clothes, I get annoyed about Bratz and I worry about the intelligence of their staff. But without them I wouldn’t have some of my favourite items. Most of the year they have 50% off […]
Jasper Carrott used to do a great joke about the staff in Woolies. He says they never changed, were always bored, monotonous dis-interested staff. “Excuse me I’ve just put some anthrax in the pick and mix!”. “Ohhhhh”, the staff member replies despondently, “It’s not my department”. To this extent you fail […]
Yes, Hallowe’en has only just passed and we are yet to celebrate Guy Fawkes’s escapades on Bonfire Night. Yet all around everywhere is plastered with Christmas decorations. That said, Livingston’s McArthurGlen actually looks quite nice (as it did last year too). This year they have white reindeer as their centrepiece, last year […]
The nights are drawing in and I’m standing out more and more. You see I have these rather wonder headphones from Jabra that I use to listen to my music from my phone (with 1gb storage card). The magical thing is that they are bluetooth enabled so no messy wires between my phone […]
Standing at the Pleasance Bar this year on the opening night I asked the bar man if they had any Magners. They had sponsored several venues in 2005 and they have four big adverts at Haymarket stating “Time dedicated to the Festival”. The bar man replied, “er, no. We have Bulmers which […]
What am I taking about? Ice. Ice. (Baby). We spent the weekend in London with some very good friends. As an enticement for me to visit him, Donald suggested we go to drink in the Ice Bar. It worked. I was down their like a flash. Saturday afternoon, £12 […]
Living out on the DLR in Limehouse is pretty cool. There is a nice waterside bar called Narrow Street that has apparently been purchased by Gordon Ramsay. They sell Indian wine in there and you know what, it’s actually pretty good. Very reminiscent of a light Portugese wine. It tastes even […]
We are all aware of the pig-eon aren’t we? Otherwise known as the feather rat (otherwise known as the un-feathered pigeon). Most people, except for tourists and the mentally unstable (maybe they are one and the same), adhere to the mantra ‘do not feed the pigeons’. I have however learnt that the […]
Don’t you just love sales in big fashionable department stores. Just like this one starting today in the Scottish Harrod’s, Jenner’s. Well it was until it was bought by the House of Fraser. Let me break down these figures for you. 50% off - well, the normal selling price is far […]
You know when a match is struck and and the flames bursts into life around it? You could use that imagery as the L in ’sale’ to symbolise that you have a red hot sale on. That’s exactly what Ann Summers did in the window of their Princes Street store. At least […]
I’ve just seen two billboard adverts this week that have really made me laugh. It seems some talented individuals have come into advertising and thought “hmm, we need to be creative to sell things”. Before I get on to them I want to talk about an Edinburgh restaurant called Voujon. The very […]
I like Almondvale and McArthur Glen, the two large shopping centres about to be joined together in Livingston. I think the thing that I like the most though is the huge glass dome, the water tumbler and the air-powered mobile above it. I could sit and watch it for hours. A huge […]
I saw these two street performers entertaining children of all ages, myself included, with these huge bubbles. So much better than polluting the atmosphere with bad noise. A little while later I noticed this bar that specialises in “Tapas & Cava”. No champagne here, not even going to pretend. We are […]
I was in Luton Airport biding my time until my flight back to breathable air (Scotland). Wandering around WH Smiths I noticed that the soft core porn mags, Club and Men’s World in this particular picture, are wrapped in white plastic so you can’t see the back of women in underwear. That is […]
I’m down in London at the moment and the first thing I noticed is that it took the same time to fly from Edinburgh to “London” Luton as it did to disembark the airplane and wait 45 minutes for the bag machine to start working. The (far too) Easy Jet staff casually wandered over […]
Not really, we were being sarcastic. A month ago, in a week when the South of England suffered under the hosepipe bans and nasty summer drought I went shopping back in Merseyside. First I went around Liverpool and saw this lovely feature (I know it is a photo from last year, my picture […]
Imagine if you will a country that bans smoking in enclosed spaces where people work. Imagine the biggest European comedy festival being held in that country’s capital city and building a smoking shelter and enclosing it (and then opening the sides up to be legal). Imagine putting out several tables and chairs and […]
So Mel Smith is going to stand up to the might of the Nazis and flout the Smoking Ban during his play then? I think not. You see, when it came down to it, he was just talking big before hand, made a great deal of publicity, and then sensibly obeyed the law […]
The Royal Bank of Scotland, yes the same one recently hammered by BBC One’s Panorama when it ran the story of *two* debt-related suicides of discrete RBS customers, has scrapped yet more of the free donations it gives away. This time the unlucky victim is the once-mighty, now weak enough to be blown over […]
I can exclusively reveal that, several months after switching to its more compact format, i.e. tabloid, The Scotsman newspaper has completed the transition to tabloid. On the front cover of today’s paper it has run the story about George Muppet Bush and his ridiculous conversation with a live mike on and duly censored the […]
This weekend I got slight sunburn by being out in the sun (and also being raised 100 feet plus in the air!), yet two of my colleagues were out of the UK on holiday. I also know of two other lots of people who have gone abroad to get lovely summer weather. Sorry […]
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