30 May 2010

I'm Cured! Well, Diagnosed & It's Not A Negative Brain Scan...

Yes, I have had a brain scan before and yes it came back negative (insert your own lame gag here).  Since I was a teenager I had the idea of a 'teardrop formula' that described the relationship between genius and insanity.  The higher you go up the intelligence / creativity scale (vertical axis) the thinner the gap between sanity (left half of the 'tear') and madness (right half).  Low and behold, scientists have confirmed teenage me was right!  In short they report that "creativity is akin to insanity" and through brain scans they have found that "both highly creative people and those with schizophrenia lack important receptors used to filter and direct thought".  This allows "creative people manage to see unusual connections ... that other people miss".  Do I make unusual connections?  Hell yes!  Just yesterday I was telling a good friend to pray to Ra that we have In case he didn't know who Ra was I reminded him that his mother is quite famous too...

29 May 2010

Is M&S Following Ann Summer's Marketing Strategy A Perfect Fit?

Cheeky sexy images are a key part of Ann Summer's marketing strategy but is it really the right idea for good ol' Marks & Spencer to try the same thing?  Maybe it's just me, but I'm not entirely comfortable with the word play in this advert, shown both in-store and online:


That said, they do have a long way to go before they hit the "heights" of Ann Summer's.  Take a look at their 'red hot sale' advert on the main shopping street in Edinburgh a couple of years ago and tell me if that is too far...  I assume that the official line is that it is a match bursting into flames.

28 May 2010

How Much Is That Complementary Drink In The Window?


Ladies...  So starts the advert in the window of The Kilted Pig, a lovely bar & restaurant in Edinburgh.  To celebrated the launch of Sex And The City 2, plus the Bank Holiday Weekend, they are having a special Ladies Night with secret hidden costs!  Don't believe me, take a closer look at the (sub-) text...
"8.45pm Complimentary Cosmopolitan Cocktail on arrival
9.00pm Hot buffet served with complementary glass of prosecco"
I'm sure the prosecco does complement the hot buffet but how much does the drink cost?  I assume it is not free otherwise you would have written complimentary as your did for the Cosmo cocktail...  Maybe 'complimentary and complementary' would have take up too much space...
NB:  Thanks go out to an elderly gentleman who first alerted me to (whilst complaining to me) this issue as Sainsbury's Mint Sauce incorrectly had "compliments lamb" written on the back.  Well, unless the mint sauce could actually talk in which case 68p would be an absolute bargain!

27 May 2010

The Best Book On Persuasion Ever ... Do Not Resist It!

Stuck in Gatwick due to a strike by French Air Traffic Controllers (who knew they controlled the England to Scotland airspace...) so I've spent the time catching up with some business reading, notably Persuasion, a book that is hailed as the greatest ever book on the art of influencing people.  I originally saw it in WH Smith and thought "pah, I don't need that" but the next day I found myself compelled to order it from Amazon!  I guess it's futile to resist doing what it wants (namely buying it).  The author is (authors are) James Borg.

26 May 2010

Foster's To Sponsor 30th Edinburgh Comedy Awards 2010

Foster's have just been announced as sponsors of the Edinburgh Comedy Awards 2010.  So long as someone good wins this year, then quite frankly I couldn't give a XXXX which beer sponsors them!

25 May 2010

On A Bus From Linlithgow, Breaking The Laws of Physics!

Sitting on the bus heading in to 'town' to meet a choose-y friend, I think I've just shattered the laws of physics!  I've noticed what can only be described as a unique phenomenon (do-do, do do-do).  Specifically, the movement of the wheels, whilst in correlation with the motion of the bus, they seem to have a perpetual nature about them.  Full disclosure, I can't claim all the credit for this discovery, there was a child prodigy sitting nearby that may have in part alerted me to this discovery...

18 May 2010

Guy Running Edinburgh Marathon In Fancy Dress Is Not The Real Looney!

As a wonderful friend of mine bids to do battle around Edinburgh yet again in the Edinburgh Marathon, there is a guy who is hoping for a record number of people to turn up including one attempting to break the world record for running it in fancy dress!  What a looney!  Oh wait, he's not?  That would be the Marketing Director of the Edinburgh Marathon...  Why?  He is actually called Mr Looney?!  No?  Phew, what a relief!  Oh, he's called Mr O'Looney (not much better really!)...  Maybe the future he should exploit his surname a bit more as he is in Marketing after all...!  Good luck Mike, I wish you were running it as The King on his Ostrich!  Next year... :)

14 May 2010

Social Interview On Facebook Rocks! Here's My First Answer...

In case you haven't already seen it, Social Interview is an "app" on Facebook that asks you "questions" about your "friends", such as 'Does Phill Gillespie have nice hair?' (Yes, I do).  The answers are the written on your "friend's" wall whether they want them or not.  What a great "feature"..!  Any way, here's my first (and probably last) answer I've submitted...
"Head on car crash."  It was my answer to the question "If David Chou was a vegetable what type of vegetable they would be?"
The sooner Bookface gets a 'dislike' button the better...

13 May 2010

Nando's Ad Back-Fires, Police Called Due To Terror Of It...

A few hours before a new government was agreed, the police attended a Nando's restaurant around the corner from Number 10 due to a terrifying sign outside a Nando's restaurant warning pedestrians that inside there was a frightening 'Man Eating Chicken' inside.  I hope the police managed to get in on that action...

12 May 2010

Sitting Near Number 10, Unaware Of My Dream Coming True...

I've just been apologised to by a great friend. We have been sitting around the corner from Number 10 and Westminister, completely unaware of the momentus happenings going on - The first coalition Government since WWII (OMG!)!  And I was (almost) there...  Still, let's look back to what I wrote back on 3rd April, namely "my ideal would be a Lib Dem - Conservative alliance to bring in real change".  Clearly dreams can come true, let's see how accurate I was in a year's time...

11 May 2010

Typical Londoners Stealing Scousers Ideas!

Just walked past a car with a notice on it saying 'nothing of value has been left in this vehicle'. Typical bloody Londoners stealing other city's ideas! This idea was originally pioneered back in Liverpool, although our version was suffixed, 'sorry mate, you'll have to be a lot quicker next time...'

9 May 2010

I Took On The Internet, And I Won! I Was Right Sounds So Good...

Yes, this is purely a self congratulatory post (I'm allowed one ever year...).  I wonder what happens if you Google "Toy Story 3 UK Premiere" (either on Google UK or the real Google.com)...  Well, as it's happening in Edinburgh I see The Scotsman in position 7, then STV in 5th, Edinburgh Guide in a respectable 4th, naturally the BBC make it in the top 3, Yahoo Movies is number 2 but at number 1 is *still* my exclusive reporting last year!  For the best reviews of the Edinburgh International Film Festival (EIFF 2010) or the Edinburgh Fringe 2010, your first choice should be this site.  And the irony is for the first time ever I am happy being referred to as a number...

2 May 2010

Edinburgh Is A Dry City, No Drinking Please...

Murrayfield is the inverse of all other stadia in the UK, they do not want you taking alcohol *out* of the stadium rather than in...

C'mon You Wonderful Wigan Warriors!

The real magic of The Magic Weekend starts now as league leaders (and my special side) the Wigan Warriors kick-off at Murrayfield...