6 May 2006

Exclusive To Woolies: How To Be A Strip Club Dancer For Girls

I don't like Bratz. Plain and simple, the concept behind them really irritates me. As if young girls don't have enough bad influences and media pressures, then they go and launch a range of dolls that appear to be semi-class hookers (and not in the Rugby League sense). Do pre-teenage girls really need dolls that are painted up more than Ronald McDonald and dressed like any cheap filberty-gibet that you find splashed across the plethora of trashy z-list loser (sorry, "celebrity") magazines. Are knee-high leather, high-heeled boots and crop tops the best thing to be force-feeding down imminently anorexic mouths? Having come to terms with that, I see they have released a Bratz Twister. That's bad, but nowhere near as bad as the Wet Twister, you press on a pad and it shoots water at your t-shirt. Back to the crime in hand. A few weeks later I noticed a new product, proudly labelled "Exclusive to Woolworths", a Bratz bucking bronco. Now you can aspire to writhe around whilst straddling a large leather beast as it trashes around between your legs. Can't we get some form of age rating for toys, or better yet, a tackiness rating?